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An invitation to lunch at Caviar Kaspia was, once upon a time,
an offer you simply didn't refuse. Providing, of course, that
the bill was on someone else. Because caviar, smeared on blinis or piled high on baked potatoes, sure didn't come cheap.
There may have been other things on the menu, but no one paid them much heed.

This was all about lashings of the black stuff.




Caviar Kaspia's signature baked potato and caviar: ‘there are few better
dishes on earth…only the price, at just under £150, is ridiculous'

Caviar Kaspia popped her final tin about two decades back.
And that site, hidden down a smart Mayfair mews, was taken over
by Gavin Rankin (who used to be the boss), and transformed into the brilliant Bellamy's.
It prospers to this day. Kaspia, on the other hand, went quiet.

Until last year, when she reopened as a members' club in another
Mayfair backstreet. But a £2,000 a year membership fee proved hard to swallow, meaning the doors were
opened to the great unwashed.

Which is how we find ourselves sitting in a rather handsome - albeit near empty - dining room, lusciously lavish, under
the stern gaze of a stern painting of a very stern man. The soft, crepuscular gloom is broken up
by the glare of table lamps, indecorously bright,
while a loud soundtrack of indolent, indeterminate beats throbs
in the background. The whole place is scented with gilded ennui.


Our fellow diners are two young South Korean women of pale, luminescent beauty,
clad in diaphanous couture. They don't speak, rather communicate entirely
via camera phone. Pose, click, check, filter, post. Immaculate waiters hover in the shadows.


We sip ice-cold vodka, and eat a £77 caviar and smoked-salmon Kaspia croque
monsieur that tastes far better than it ought to. Next door, a large table fills with a glut of the
noisily, glossily confident.

We're looked after by a wonderful French lady of such effervescent
charm and charisma that had she burst into an impromptu
performance of ‘Willkommen', we would have barely blinked.
Baked potatoes, skin as crisp as parchment, insides
whipped savagely hard with butter and sour cream, are a study in tuber art.
A cool jet-black splodge of oscietra caviar, gently saline,
raises them to the sublime. Only the price, at just under £150 each, is ridiculous.
But there are few better dishes on earth. I'd eat this every day if I could.
But I can't. Obviously. That's the problem with caviar.
One taste is never enough.

About £200 per head. Caviar Kaspia, 1a Chesterfield Street, London W1; caviarkaspialondon.com

★★★★✩

 



My favourite luxury dishes
Tom's pick of the best places to splash the culinary cash in LondonTom's pick of the best
places to splash the culinary cash in London

The Ritz






Beef wellington sliced and sauced at the table (£150) and crêpes suzette flambéed with aplomb (£62): Arts de la Table is
edible theatre at its most delectable.

theritzlondon.com

Otto's






Come to this classic French restaurant for the canard or
homard à la presse (£150-£220 per person);
stay for beef tartare (£42), foie gras (£22) and poulet
de bresse rôti (£190, two courses).

ottos-restaurant.com

Sushi Kanesaka






Piscine perfection comes at an eye-watering £420 per person,
sans booze. But this 13-seat sushi bar shows omakase dining
at its very finest.

dorchestercollection.com

Min Jiang






The dim sum is some of the best in town. But don't miss the wood-fired Beijing duck
(£98) - crisp skin first, then two servings of the meat.
Superb.

minjiang.co.uk

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A ménage à trois and intimacy outside the bedroom are sexual fantasies that
we've all heard before.

But what about having sex in a desert, or even a
storage unit? These are just two of the unusual sexual fantasies social media users have
confessed to trying.

A hilarious Reddit thread, named 'what is a sexual fantasy
you do not recommend', features the bizarre sexcapades of commenters — many of
who bitterly regret their risqué acts.

The thread began with a question from user u/Fantastic-Ant-4429,
who asked: 'What is a sexual fantasy you do not recommend fulfilling?'

Having sex in the desert, a library and on a plane were some
of the most upvoted responses, Huffpost reported. 

Reddit user u/ElPresidente714 admitted to trying to have sex in the desert at night when coming back from Vegas.
But in reality, they were met with 'creepy crawly desert things don't sleep at night'.



Another, u/DonSmitty said a 'buddy in high school' covered his girlfriend
(including her genitals) in chocolate syrup. But it didn't end well —
she got infected with a 'crazy' yeast infection. 

Doing it in a storage unit was another unusual fantasy
which ended badly. User u/isthisfark wrote: 'There's
a closing time and if you miss it you'll get stuck behind the gates for the night.
Then the people who live there start rustling.'




Not everyone pursues or even plans to act on their
sexual fantasies in real life. But a handful of those who have tried to make their browser history a reality
have confessed they didn't quite go to plan — a thread on Reddit revealed





The thread began with a question from user u/Fantastic-Ant-4429 , who
asked: 'What is a sexual fantasy you do not recommend fulfilling?' (pictured, Dakota Johnson and James Doman in Fifty Shades Darker)





Nationally 55 per cent of Brits reported having
sex at least one a week, this rising to 59 per cent of men and falling to
51 per cent of women

One commenter u/hot-snake-70 confessed they found out the hard way that it 'stings' if
you put your penis 'in a glass of red wine'.

Threesomes were also suggested to be a bad idea with user u/Touristupdatenola adding: 'If I wanted to disappoint two people simultaneously, I'd have
dinner with both my parents.'

Another user u/odysseus-23, warned against trying to have sex in a library due
to the likelihood of getting 'caught on the cameras'.


And while joining the Mile High Club — engaging in sex
acts while aboard an airplane — might sound exciting, some
warn that it is anything but. 

'Mile high club. Trust me, these bathrooms are getting
smaller and smaller. And people notice, they always notice,' u/bigindianenergy29 commented. 

Some people came to the conclusion that the bed is the best location. u/Mundane-Garbage1003 wrote:
'Most "having sex in an unusual place" fantasies in my experience quickly turn into a
lesson on why people usually just use the bed.' 



Read More

Adult site reveals 10 of the most bizarre sex fantasies Brits love - including 'giant' women


In September, adult video site Clips4Sale published
the intriguing findings of its analysis of the changing preferences of 250,000 daily
website visitors.

The analysis revealed a whole host of obscure fantasies held by its users, including BBL — a preference for women who've undergone buttock-enlargement procedures — and Giantess, which describes a female giant.


Brits are among the most prolific porn users in the world,
with an average of 16,600,000 searches for adult content made
each month. 

The adult film industry is estimated to be worth more than £15billion a year. 

While thousands of British men and women watch and enjoy pornography without issue, about one in 20 Brits
have a porn addiction. 

In some of the most extreme cases, experts have treated patients
who watch x-rated content for up to 14 hours a day, according to not-for-profit online therapy programme Pivotal Recovery. 

However, Many suffers understandably avoid seeking professional help out of shame and embarrassment for their affliction or
fear of exposure.

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Most of the land of North Africa and the Middle East is desert.
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